What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

If an abortion doesn’t affect you, why do people make it a big deal?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why can't the US government force this new deep seek to not operate in the USA for security reasons? People's personal information will be available to China like TikTok was.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do some young mothers trick a guy into believing that they're pregnant and it's their child when years later they find out that it's not even theirs should he still pay child support or not?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

I'm pretty sure that my dog is transgender, how would I go about transitioning it?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why cant school buses ditch kids who are late to the bus at the school? Like on the way home, if a kid is late when all the others arrived to the bus on time, why cant they leave the late kid behind since its not fair to the on time kids to wait?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.